Put Some Pants On, You Monster!

You may be familiar with Islamic rules of modesty for women: we’ve been hearing a lot about them in the news recently. While many people argue about what exactly this is supposed to mean, the Qur'an is pretty clear about things like covering up, although what exactly you must cover is, beyond the obvious, somewhat vague.

“Good women are obedient. They guard their unseen parts because God has guarded them” (Q 4:34).

An Islamic cleric, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, has expressed alarm and dismay over lapses in female modesty. He says (according to National Post), “Many women who do not dress modestly…lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which [consequently] increases earthquakes.”

Well…the Qur'an does mention that both women and men are supposed to turn their eyes away from immodesty (Q 24:30-31), so maybe the real problem is that they’re looking? That is a bit facetious: after all, the scriptures also tell women to dress modestly so as not to incite…um…anything. But earthquakes? This is the first I’ve heard of that. I’m sure that has scriptural grounding somewhere, but frankly I can’t find it. The only mention of earthquakes that I know of pertains to the last days (Q 99). I think maybe rampant fear of Western culture and its various licentious ways are getting the best of some people and pushing them to rather absurd conclusions.

“Their dread of you is more intense in their hearts than their fear of God: so devoid are they of understanding” (Q 59:13).

I think this concern with female modesty is rather overblown. It just directs people away from the real, serious and threatening problem which is much more important. Clearly, clearly, I’m talking about the lack of male modesty which is obviously responsible for volcanic eruptions.

“Say to the believing man that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them” (Q 24:30).

I mean, what is it with these men walking around in shorts above the knee? Or without shirts on? Their scandalous attire is causing the earth's core to heat up! And those tight pants? I mean, leave something to the imagination! Tempting the weaker sex like that with your immodesty: for shame.

Some of you may know that I have a great respect for the Muslim faith – heck, I thought seriously about converting – so I mean no disrespect to the Prophet or the Qur'an. However, I mean great disrespect to the morons who twist its message around and use it to disenfranchise people or treat them with less dignity than they deserve as human beings.

“But great is the guilt of those who oppress their fellow men and conduct themselves with wickedness and injustice in the land” (Q 42:41). Since the Qur'an is concerned with everyone’s rights, I’m interpreting ‘men’ as rather broader than just the male gender.

Forcing people to dress or worship a certain way, or making outlandish claims as to the results when they do not, undermines the beauty of Muslim beliefs, as it would undermine the power and poetry of all and any faith. The truth is that, in the end, each person comes before God and has a relationship with Him as an individual, and by taking away that aspect of volition you rob the believer of the chance to have real faith, determined only by that person’s own love of God.

“Thus did they earn God’s grace and bounty, and no harm befell them. For they had striven to please God, and God’s bounty is infinite” (Q 3:173).