There are many potentially interesting yet ultimately unimportant tidbits that I know about the Roman church. Like the clerical error which means the use of blue vestments on Marian feast days was only technically made illegal in Spain (instead of being a universal liturgical rule).
More importantly, there are many things I don’t understand. Like how exactly I am supposed to overcome certain insidious temptations when they consist of things I don’t actually want to do anyway.
Sometimes the devil puts thoughts, ideas in my head that shouldn’t be there. In itself, this is probably harmless, since there is no corresponding act of will, or even desire. However, I always struggle against them, attempting to drown them out or push them away. It can be dangerous to relax my vigilance, as I well understand, since then they can begin to permeate me, affect my judgment, my desires, and can lead to feelings of despair. My soul is a window for the devil and for God also. Who else besides myself is there to blame if I let the wrong one in?
I have to be vigilant lest these ideas slip inside me and become a part of who I am, so that I begin to believe they are my own, so that they become my own, so that I follow them.
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