I went to one of the downtown churches today that I’ve only been to a few times, mostly because my local Anglican church wasn’t having Eucharist, which still seems strange to me. In the priest’s homily, she talked about how Advent requires us to go into the desert in order to get to Jerusalem: it isn’t a comfortable place to be, and it isn’t easy, but it’s the only way to be prepared for the journey.
I like that. It gives me hope that this place where I am is part of a journey and not a meaningless side trip along the way.
Where I am right now is fairly uncomfortable; I think this blog as of late has made that pretty clear. Bloggerific.
I went to pull my cell phone out of my bag to call for a ride home and grabbed it, as I usually do, based on the feeling of the case it’s in. Belatedly, I realized that I had in fact pulled out my Bible instead.
Maybe this is a message from God. Maybe it symbolizes that what I’m trying to do is call someone, anyone, who will help me get home. Maybe the word of God is precisely that way home, precisely that to which I must turn, to which I must reach out. Given that I was brought up Roman Catholic (whoda thunk it?), it’s not like reading the Bible is the first thing I do when I’m trying to figure something out in my faith life.
Maybe I need to do more of that: more turning to the Word itself and less trying to find someone to talk to who’ll help me sort out this emotional turmoil that is my life right now. Although I believe that human relationships, in all their imperfections, are an indispensible source of healing, it just doesn’t seem to be something that’s in the cards for me right now (although I must admit I am not a Tarot expert). So, less asking people for help and comfort and more praying with the Bible. Maybe that will work out and maybe it won’t, but right now it’s all I’ve got.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Now let me see...this hilarious mistake means one of two things: Either you have a tiny Bible or a huge cell phone. Which is it? And if you have a small Bible like that, I want one!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thank you for that reflection. I sympathize, as looking for answers in a text that does not obviously seem to provide them (meaning you have to dig for them!) does not come naturally to me either. But this is to underestimate the depth of Scripture. Perhaps I ought to follow your insight as well.
And don't forget that you might not be as alone as it seems. Although my help and comfort will be infinitely inferior to that of the Word, I am made in the Word's (still distorted) image, so do give me a ring if you need someone to talk to about whatever. I know I can be terribly verbose, but when I try I'm also a decent listener.
Oh, and: Happy belated St. Nick's day!